Fuck my life.

[Foxhole]

Oh not my life, others!

I've never realized that laughing at the misfortune anonymously could have brought me so much joy. Here I thought I'd eventually have to resort to murder to put a smile on my face.

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

I just thought that one was awesome.

[Shiny]

Damn. Now that sucks dodo eggs.

I used to read grouphug.us because there were some seriously fucked up stories on there, but it made me feel better about my situation.

[Demon_Mexican]

Oh not my life, others!

I've never realized that laughing at the misfortune anonymously could have brought me so much joy. Here I thought I'd eventually have to resort to murder to put a smile on my face.

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

I just thought that one was awesome.

Wow that sucks man, but hey I didnt know you were ordained minister.

[Foxhole]

Oh not my life, others!

I've never realized that laughing at the misfortune anonymously could have brought me so much joy. Here I thought I'd eventually have to resort to murder to put a smile on my face.

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

I just thought that one was awesome.

Wow that sucks man, but hey I didnt know you were ordained minister.

Not me....I should have put quotes.

This one is totally money.

"Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML"

"Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokemon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML"

Edit for the pokemon.

[Apathy Wind]

"Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML"

Easy explanation here: this "girl" has a penis and clueless boyfriend #1 hasn't had the opportunity to find out yet

"Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokemon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML"

Hmmm... let's see

27 year male + Pokemon event + 8 hour trip + crying

Nothing I could come up with would be worse than this already is...

[Kyo-wa]

Oh not my life, others!

I've never realized that laughing at the misfortune anonymously could have brought me so much joy. Here I thought I'd eventually have to resort to murder to put a smile on my face.

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

I just thought that one was awesome.

Awwww... ;__; How sad... I read that one to my sweetheart and he said, 'awww, geez'....

For a sec there, Foxy, I thought you became a minister/marriage celebrant!!!

[Foxhole]

Minister? Good lord no.

"Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML"

Also quality.

[hebretto]

hahaha I've tried to post to FML before but it never made it :o

I tried to read every page at one stage but then I realised there were too many and some of them were probably false ... but it was still pretty funny hahaha

[Foxhole]

Funny heb? LIKE......THIS ONE?

"Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML"

[Kyo-wa]

"Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he gets to my apartment and hears the showering running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML"

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
That's so sick -__-;;;

[Foxhole]

I'm not sure who that scenario was the worst for: the mom, the girlfriend, or the boyfriend.

"Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML"

"Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML"

A couple of gems I found this morning.

[Shiny]

Keep delivering the lolz, and I will sign for them.

[Foxhole]

For posterity!

"Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML"

[Kyo-wa]

For posterity!

"Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML"

Ewwwwwwww, what a pervert!
-__-;

"Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML"
.........................

"Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML"
I'd be disturbed too if my bf likes Hello Kitty! Hello Kitty is for women only! We can love it but men cannot!

"Today, I put a lipstick mark on the cuff of my boyfriend's white shirt, as a prank, knowing he'd never cheat on me. So I went at him really angry and started yelling about the lipstick when he says, "I'm sorry baby! It was only once! Actually 8 times." FML"

[Foxhole]

Ouch, I'm a little hurt, I like Hello Kitty. Though I can't say I'd ever want a Hello Kitty themed anything. Though you might catch a Hello Kitty plush somewhere....

For fun.

"Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML"