COMPLAINT BOMB GO
I'd like to complain about:
-My drug addled cousin going into my aunt's attic and cleaning me out of the video games I had been collecting since I was in the third grade, then pawning them.
-The morning breath of Satan called humidity down here.
- The idiot drivers that live clog the roads here. I swear it's like real life Burnout. Some idiot female in a SUV talking on her phone almost ended my life trying to merge into my lane, when the only space available was pushing my car into the next lane, which was oncoming traffic. Without laying on the horn and telling her how much of a cunt she was, I wouldn't be complaining about it now.
- The idiot tourists. Yes you missed your turn, you argument for choosing fellatio over penetration. You can make a u-turn at the next light to get back to Mickey and friends, don't stop in the middle of the damn street.
- The tour groups from South America at the theme parks. Their women are beuatiful, and they may be quite affluent from where they are from by growing coca and coffee beans. But don't act like you own the place..I don't have anything to lose anymore so I may make an example of one of the men and beat the Carnivale out of their proverbial snooty ass. And nope, I don't speak Portuguese or Spanish, so don't look all shocked that no one but who you came with understands you.
- Moronic parents that let their children run them. That little fuck doesn't need an extra Spiderman t-shirt just because he won't shut the hell up unless he gets it. 10 years down the road, that kid will end up being a spoiled brat that will curse them out at any given opportunity, show no respect, and tweak and flunk his way out of college, if he makes it that far.
-Smelly people at the parks. Yeah, I know it's hot out..but you probably should've opted for a travel stick of deodorant over that oversized turkey leg, you proverbial stinky ass sack of humanity. I hope the next ride you get on denies you access because they can't fit your funk cloud in the same seat as you.
- Playing Madden 11 or any game with ragequitters online. Yeah maybe that last play or shoryuken was bullshit, but take the loss like a manly man instead of a 17 year old girl whose parents just cut their texting plan.
- People on Facebook that update their status perpetually throughout the day with innane things like: David DouchebagBro James is BROIN' OUT PLAYING GEARS OF WAR FUCK YEAH, or, JUST TOOK A MONSTER SHIT LOL, HMU
- Not being able to find Okami at a Gamestop here.
- The douchemonster that wanted to buy my 360, then flaked out on me. Sent from my iPhone.
- Not being able to pick the smartphone I want.
- The lack of my mom and grandmother in the mortal realm.
- FFXIII being way more meh than awesome.
- MvC3 and the new MK coming out next year.
- Chris Paul or Carmelo Anthony not coming to the Magic.
- Julius Peppers leaving the Panthers.
- LeBron James. Is he really that important to warrant a special on his choosing a team to play for? I hope when he plays Cleveland, Drew Carey pulls a Tonya Harding on him.
- Rex Ryan. Just kidding, he's awesome.
- Being depressed.
- Scott Pilgrim v. The World not having online co-op. I wanted to play it with Apathy Wind ;~;
- Me getting SPD'd to death by Gunsmith. I should have not kept jumping in on him.
- Rice Krispies Treats Cereal getting soggy as soon as it hits milk.
- Capt Crunch cereal scraping the roof of my mouth until it feels raw and bloody.
- Not seeing enough alligators.
- Wild turkeys tapping on my window, thinking that their reflection is a rival turkey. You won't be so macho inbetween two slices of bread with some romaine lettuce and some peppercorn gourmaise.
More to come, I'm sure.
Watch me burn..